Space Vixen's Log

Stardate 2024.06.29

I wish summer were even half this fun for me.

As I sip from my mug of hot coffee with maple syrup (cause I'm not paying a disgusting fucking 4.99 for a bottle of creamer) - knowing full well it's only going to make me hotter and not cool me off, but also not caring because hot is the clearly superior way of making coffee - I sit in the dark cool quiet of our basement apartment to hide from the horrors of summer, my least favorite time of year. It's different when you're a kid and you get to take the entire three months off from the forced responsibilities of schoolwork, but when you're an adult, summer just means more of the same, but now with unbearable heat tacked on. And speaking as a pasty bitch born in the hills of Oregon and Washington, heat and humidity are my mortal nemeses.

Look, I know I'm not the only one feeling this right now. The whole world is struggling as climate change marches onward while deniers sneer and scoff that we're all just a bunch of pansies who can't handle a little sunburn. But the facts are facts, man. The average global temperature keeps rising by degrees, the weather is a constant rollercoaster of extreme highs and bizarre lows, the extreme humidity is literally suffocating communities who aren't built to handle that kind of soup, and there is no one willing to step in and kick the corporate buffoons in their collective dicks, or to regulate their bullshit so we can stop dying from pollution and other entirely unnecessary evils.

Not to mention, at the forefront of all this now, is every technology mega-corp's absurd push to create new "AI" systems, whose morally ambiguous machine learning processes require the construction of massive data centers, drawing a revolting amount of electricity and siphoning fragile communities' vital water supplies...and for what? A system that can give me inaccurate and unhelpful information about how many rocks I should eat every day?

On top of rendering most search engines utterly useless, it also underscores a lack of education and ability for people to learn things for themselves. It's a completely demonstrable truth that The Answer Machine isn't always feeding you correct or even consistent information, and should not be trusted as a convenient replacement for doing actual research. It's a system that leeches off our vital resources in hugely impactful ways and does not provide a worthwhile service in return, but tech companies "can't back down now" since their entire investor fortunes have been poured into these pointless endeavors. Heaven forbid investors should LOSE MONEY, right?

Listen, I like when things get hot and steamy between people - shoutout to complex math equations like 98.6 x 2 - but generally speaking, I really hate the heat. And I actively root for the destruction of the evil corporations that so callously contribute to making our lives more miserable by ramping up global climate change with no repercussions.

ANYWAY...now that I'm done complaining, let's talk about what else has changed in the last month!

I've made more progress on Bimbo In Limbo, and added a new sneak preview for a track I finally finished here on site! That just leaves two tracks to go; one is under reconstruction but making progress, and the other...if it's going to be anything like I have pictured in my head, it's going to be the most complex and batshit wild thing I've ever attempted. It even has like, TEMPO CHANGES and stuff! I wanna really tap into my prog rock and Mr Bungle inspired roots and come out swinging with the most mind-boggling singular music track I've ever made, and that's my final hurdle. Let's see if I can finish it before the cover art I commissioned gets finished...I'll give you a sort of preview by revealing who the artist will be!

I was also musing on Twitter earlier, but I want to get back into making music for porn. I made a couple of simple examples of my brand of psychedelic chiptune funk a couple years ago for some boob drop clips by HirariFans, and I want to do more stuff like that, maybe even on a bigger* scale. I had an artist ask once for musicians who could play drums for an expansion animation, but I never heard back from them sadly.

*I thought about clarifying here - "bigger scale musically, not bigger boobularly" - but then again, I'd make music for 'em no matter how big someone's frontside airbags might potentially get.

Not a lot of other creative outlets to report on just yet. I've been going ham on writing Reviews lately, adding one for Kipo & The Age of Wonderbeasts as well as my - yeah, I'm gonna say it - favorite anime of Spring 2024, Train To The End of The World. I've also got two other reviews in progress that I want to finish while they're still fresh in my mind, and a few others that I probably SHOULD finish while their respective irons are still hot, but that's just the old SEO/FOMO brain talking. I shouldn't care about whether or not I'm reviewing things in a timely fashion or capitalizing on potential traffic while the anime's names are still fresh in people's minds. I pride myself on writing Reviews for obscure things no one cares about anyway, so why even bother trying to be current and relevant?

Speaking of traffic, I see we've already hit 40k views, which means a staggering 10k of those views came through in the past month alone. I don't know where all of you are coming from because I didn't (and probably won't) set up Analytics - maybe from that one Cohost post I made encouraging people to make a Neocities page and talking about my Reviews and AMVs? - but I'm glad for every single view. Hope you've enjoyed your stay, whoever you are!

On that note, I guess I've been somewhat flailing and failing in my quest to be more of a Hermit Era gal this year. I signed up for both Bluesky and Cohost in a bid to keep up with some friends and maybe try to leave the cesspool that is Twitter, but I'm tired of starting over from almost zero on new social media sites. I'm too established on Twitter, and it's where I get the most actual interactions from people. It may be a cesspool, but it's the only place that still feels actually social. There are good people on Bluesky and Cohost, but it does feel a little...echo chamber-y? I dunno. The vibe is still kinda odd. I guess I could also try being more active on Reddit, but I'm not sure I'm ready for that level of potential traffic and commentary. I shouldn't be afraid of people on the internet, but Reddit is a community that...well, it just unnerves me sometimes.

Tumblr has also been a good source of views and occasional feedback, but I gotta be honest, I'm so fucking sick of that goddamned baby website. I keep getting dinged and flagged for inappropriate content, but not for the inappropriate content you might think. I post a gif of a fully-clothed lady with her jiggly tits popped out, that's fine. I reblog a funny video of two drag queens watching a food processor, that's flagged for sexual content. I post a gif of a naked girl literally pissing all over the kitchen floor, that's fine. I post screenshots from the hit Nickelodeon cartoon The Angry Beavers, that gets flagged for I guess reasons related to "beaver" being slang for "vagina"? Maybe? WHO FUCKING KNOWS.

Not to mention, I posted some fully-clothed and entirely modest photos of me during my early gender experimentation phase where I had a full lincoln beard with deep red lipstick and fancy milfy dress outfits that gave me curves I never even realized I had, which of course were flagged for sexual content for daring to suggest the threatening concept of transgenderism. Give me a fucking break. That website can burn for all I care. I'm also kinda tempted to just upload those pictures here because they're honestly good pictures that make me feel good about myself, but then again I don't do the beard thing anymore, so they're also kind of...not me anymore. It's complicated. Then again, I've been dragging my feet on this whole "make a new look for myself and my new fake boobs" thing, so maybe I don't really have a leg to stand on in that regard. Gonna chew on that for a bit.

Anyway, can't really say I have much else to add here. This has been kind of a bitchy blog entry overall, but that's just how it goes sometimes. Some months are better than others. Nothing to do but grit my teeth and channel that frustration into energy for my creative pursuits instead, which will eventually turn it back into joy. Hopefully enough to help me power on through this, the worst part of the year (for me).

As always, plenty more coming in the pipeline. Keep your eyes peeled, check back again soon. And don't YOU stop creating either. Let your passion and love for the work you do flow through you, and express yourself in the ways that make you happy.

See you again soon!