Grenadier

What would happen if you watched "A Fistful of Dollars", then - after hearing it was an unsanctioned remake of "Yojimbo" - went back and watched that as well, and decided that both were good, but were missing a certain je ne sais quoi, and decided that particular something-something was some good old-fashioned anime sex appeal? I imagine you'd get something like Grenadier.

Were you counting the bullets, or did you get distracted by something?

Set in an alternate history of Sengoku-period Japan, this is the story of a gun-slinging drifter (Rushuna) wandering the land and spreading the peaceful teachings of her mysterious master. Although she's an incredible sharpshooter, Rushuna only uses her gun to disarm or incapacitate her foes, in an effort to take away their will to fight. Her master's philosophy suggests all you really need to penetrate people's armor is a smile and a pillowy hug, though a pistol does help for literal armor.

Her looks could probably disarm all on their own, but the gun is faster.

As Rushuna easily takes down hordes of enemies with a combination of gunplay and feminine wiles, she quickly garners a reputation for being some kind of unkillable super-mercenary, and a bounty is put on her head. During her travels, she is joined by two curious disciples: an old-fashioned but still youthful swordsman (Yajirou), and a spunky little balloon artist (Mikan). Both are seeking some kind of justice or revenge, but find themselves captivated by Rushuna's decidedly bizarre philosophies of peace, and decide to tag along to learn more, and also to help protect her.

Unfortunately, the group is also being chased by a floating weirdo in a powdered wig with some kind of super disintegration ray gun, who claims to be attacking them under the orders of Rushuna's master. The show proceeds to follow her long trek back to her old dojo (of sorts) and find out what the hell's going on.

Mikan's inflatable bunny girl suits aren't even the weirdest thing going on in this show.

Story-wise, this anime is very short, but it doesn't move too quickly. It could easily have been condensed into a single movie without sacrificing anything substantial in terms of plot, but the story isn't really the point here. Yes, this is a trashy titty anime whose primary focus is on making Rushuna jiggle, but the thin-stretched narrative also felt kind of intentional. Blame it on the boob shots or the low budget if you like, but to me, the slow, often atmospheric pace felt true to the western/samurai angle the show was clearly going for. Not in a serious, artsy cinematic way, but as a sort of homage to its inspirations. All boobage aside, I never really felt bored watching it with that in mind.

This is one of the only instances in the entire show where characters actually reload their guns in a normal fashion.

See, here's my thing about fanservice anime. I like T&A as much as the next horny idiot, but generally speaking, I don't watch jiggle anime to get off. We have porn for that. The appeal of titty anime is that it's often paired with schlock and camp, both of which are built on finding humor in absurdity and things that would otherwise make us cringe. Lingering shots of bouncing breasts are often derided as tasteless, embarrassing, or disrespectful, but at the end of the day, some people just have big tits, and they bounce a lot when people run. It's a true fact. If watching it happen makes you feel uncomfortable, that's fine, but it's on you to figure out why. Schlock embraces this sort of thing as a way of forcing us to confront these very feelings.

Don't worry, I can't do that either.

I'm being genuinely honest here when I say that leaning into camp and accepting cringe for what it is has really helped me normalize a lot of things that would otherwise make me feel uncomfortable. They're just boobs. Most people have them, and they're fun to watch, but nothing to feel awkward or shameful about. Once I learned to confront the biases against nudity and tittilation that society keeps telling me are tasteless, embarrassing, and disrespectful, I became a lot more comfortable with myself, and with others. After all, why should I let myself be shocked or repulsed by the different ways people express their own sexuality or horniness?

I'm sorry, did the tender scene of the grumpy swordsman lying on top of his dying former comrade and gayly pouring out his heart as sakura petals fall gently behind them make you uncomfortable because it didn't have any boobs in it?

It may sound a bit ridiculous, but normalizing boobie anime helped me accept these things for what they are instead of trying to control them, and in turn helped me feel more secure in my OWN sexuality. We still live in a society at war with people's bodies and how they choose to love others (from queerness, asexuality and polyamory to the ways we're allowed to dress and the ways we're allowed to handle unplanned pregnancies), and feeling comfortable with sex and horniess in general is one way I became immunized against falling for that bullshit. This is one reason why I'm always so open about enjoying porn and fanservice.

I should also mention, this is me talking OUTSIDE of the long-running history of sexism and unnecessary sexualization of women in comics and video games and anime. I'm specifically talking about shows that lean into their own sexual campiness without the intention of taking themselves seriously.

Man, this scene with two women in skimpy costumes having a gun-fu battle is SO unrealistic.

Grenadier is one of those anime where the titties don't actually detract anything from the story. Everything about the show isn't meant to be believable, just enjoyed for what it is. The fact that Rushuna is skilled enough to accurately no-scope snipe the buttons off a guy's armor from across a battlefield with nothing but a pistol is not hampered in the slightest by the fact that she bounces spare bullets off her tits every time she reloads the gun. It's all part of the camp. If you're taking it too seriously, then of course you won't enjoy it!

Tell me exactly what is not fun about this recurring gag.

All said, this is a very simple series. It's short, generally low budget, doesn't have anything substantial you can't find anywhere else, and completes its story without leaving you wanting more. It's not sexy enough to be porn, but too jiggly to be "respectable". I had fun with it though. I'd recommend this as a show to veg out to, when you want to relax after a long day and put something on without paying close attention. There are plenty of worse shows you could watch instead, and this one at least has boundless bubbly booba in every other scene!

One more gif, just in case you forgot who the main characters of the show are.